Prof. Dr. Ahmed Omar Hashem, former President of Al-Azhar University, says: The choice of each of the spouses for the other has criteria and foundations on which it is based, namely:
1 Religion:
The most important basis of the foundations of the choice of each of the spouses for the other The man's consideration of the woman who has a religion and creation is necessary, because the same religion and creation is the one that helps her husband on his religion, his world and the hereafter, and preserves her honor and chastity and preserves her husband's dignity so that he secures with her, and lives with her, and affection and mercy shine between them, and the Prophet guided God's prayers
The Prophet (ﷺ) mentioned these demands, explaining the most important of them and urging them in the form of commanding to win and win those who are distinguished by it, so Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه) reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: "A woman should marry for four reasons: for her money, for her beauty, and for her religion.
Just as religion is a criterion and a basis for a man's choice of his wife, so it is with regard to a woman's choice of a man, so Abu Hatim al-Muzni (رضي الله عنه) reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: "If someone comes to you whose religion and creation you please, then marry him, otherwise you will do it, there will be sedition on earth and corruption."
2- Calculation and origin:
Islam has commanded us to choose to be kind and to go to the origin because people are metals.
Imam al-Ghazali stipulated that the wife should be a relative, i.e. she should be a member of the house of religion and righteousness, because she would raise her daughters and sons, and if she was not polite, she would not improve discipline and upbringing, and the same is the case for men.
Uthman ibn Abi al-Aas al-Thaqafi recommended his children to choose sperm and said: "O sons of the marrying a mughtra, let him look where he puts his planting and the bad sweat rarely gives birth, so choose even after a while" and our master Omar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) was asked: What is the right of a child over his father? He replied by saying: To choose his mother, improve his name, and teach him the Qur'an.
The origin or calculus has an impact on the formation of the emerging family after that, where the children grow up and their morals and habits grow in the shadows of the life in which they grew up and were raised on its etiquette.
3 Money:
Many people take into account the desire of a man to marry a rich woman, and the desire of a woman to marry a rich man, and each of the parties may forget or forget the value of religion and its importance in building a family and look at money alone, but perhaps their desire for money concealed many things,
it was necessary to take into account, and the desire for money may increase and consider it a standard for many families in these recent times, in which prices have risen; People were expensive in furniture and feathers, they boasted of money, and their inspirations were to multiply from the real principles of choice, and important criteria, foremost of which is "religion and creation".
4- Beauty:
It is required that beauty does not conflict with religion, and if it contradicts that the beautiful is not of religion and morality, then this beauty is not considered. In the hadith in which the Prophet (ï·º) said: "A woman marries for four reasons:
for her money, for her beauty, for her two sons, so win the same religion by raising your hands" that he limited himself to these things and not others, such as the wife being a virgin, or a child, or smart, and so on, because these things that were mentioned are what many people used to get used to in marriage and coveted to achieve and present them over others, as was their custom with the intention of these four qualities and delaying religion,
so the Prophet (ï·º) showed them what They should win it when he says: "So keep the same religion by patting your hands." However, the demand of religion does not prevent money or other beauty, and so on, but taking into account money alone without religion is what Islam forbade and warned against.
5- Firstborn:
i.e. the marriage of a man to a virgin woman who has never been married before, and a woman to a man who has never been married before. It was mentioned in the preference of the firstborn over others hadith:
"You have to the firstborn, for they are the freshest mouths, and I choose the wombs and I am satisfied with the easy" and the meaning of being the freshest mouths: the best in speech and word, and I choose the wombs, that is: more children.
When the Messenger of Allaah (ﷺ) asked Jabra (رضي الله عنه): "Have you married? Jabir said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah, he said: Virgins or garments? He said, "Rather, a garment," he said, "Can you manipulate it and your manipulation?"
6- Al-Wadud and Al-Walud:
Islam has called for marriage to the friendly and the newborn, because the same friendliness preserves the tithe and intimacy, and retains affection, and because the newborn achieves with it the purpose of marriage by housing, stability, procreation and preservation of the human species.
A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (ï·º) and betrothed a sterile woman, and he said to the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that I have become a woman of stature and position but she does not give birth, should I marry her? Then the second came to him, and then the third came to him and said:
"Marry the friendly and the friendly, for I will multiply with you." It is possible to know that she is friendly by asking those who came into contact with her and lived with her closely, and it is also possible to know that the firstborn is friendly to her relatives.
What is required of these and other descriptions in women is also required in men, so the woman's parents choose for their daughter the man who is virtuous and friendly and childbearing and not sterile, for while the street speech is for men, women are the sisters of men in legislation.
7 Mind:
to choose the man and woman with the mind, and stay away from the foolish woman, because the same mind is based ten with her, and life is happy with her and the nature of the woman is transmitted to her children, if she has a mind, intelligence and intelligence acted in her life from the logic of her mind and this behavior had its echo and impact on the children, and if she was foolish was the opposite, it has been said:
"Avoid foolishness, her child is lost and accompanied by a scourge."
8- Alienation:
If a woman is not relative, then a non-relative will have a child who has given birth, and this is why it is said: Alienate, do not be lost, that is, marry the distant woman who is not related to you, so that the children will not be weakened.
Ibn Qadamah said: "Because enmity is not believed in marriage and leads to divorce, if it is in his kinship, it leads to the severance of the womb that is related to it."
And the same close kinship may come from the child is not healthy body may be exposed to some genetic impairments has come in genetics what benefits the coming of the boy weak in his body and in his intelligence if the marriage of the same relative relative.